The Kitchen Saga continues…..

Since the Americans destroyed my kitchen last week I’ve been waiting for the workmen to come along and put the cupboard back up so that I can maybe get back to some normality.  Finally, after 6 days I got a call to say that they would come today so could I be home from 1pm onwards.  Now you know when they say this, what they actually mean is can you stay home all day for no reason and we’ll try and drop by before the sun sets!!!

To be fair they arrived at about 1.45pm whilst I was in the middle of a breakdown on the phone to Sarah (that’s another blog….about the worst week ever!!!) in floods of tears.  I asked them if they had bought a new cupboard to replace the one that was broken.  Obviously this was met with completely blank stares, so I figure that’s ok they’ll mend the old one and we’ll be good to go.  Yeah, not so much!  They spent the first half hour dismantling the cupboard and then putting it back together…..excellent, I think, they just need to fix it to the wall and I can go back to work.

This is where the fun begins.  They try and affix the cupboard to the wall and decide that it’s too heavy and they can’t hold it up and fix it to the wall between them, so what do they do? Dismantle the cupboard to try and screw it into the wall.  They finally get it up there and screwed in, stand back to admire their handiwork and what happens?  The damn cupboard falls off the wall again.  Commence much muttering on their part and scratching the butts trying to figure out why it didn’t stay on.

Soooooo, they try again.  Same thing happens!!  Man number One goes out to the van and comes back with bigger screws, a drill and some putty.  They try again…..Guess what happens?  Yep the cupboard falls off again. So then I can hear them discussing Plan B and I’m pretending not to listen and thinking ‘hmmmmm, so they think they have a Plan B, huh?’  Again the muttering and butt scratching commences whilst they figure out what the hell Plan B is.  By this time I’m banging my head against the floor and saying it’s fine guys I can live without a kitchen!!!!.

The end of the story is that after 2 hours they decide that the wall is actually made of plasterboard and isn’t a proper wall and no matter what they do nothing will hold and they don’t know how the cupboard stayed up for 5 years.  So, I’m all ‘Well what happens now?’ and they are all well Miss we can’t do anything to help but if you call back to the switchboard they’ll send someone different to look at it.  Bloody Marvellous!!!  I am now back to square one, waiting for them to call me so that they can come look at the cupboard that’s now in a even worse state and the kitchen that I can no longer cook or wash up.  Give me another 6 days and they’ll hopefully send another person to ‘look’ at the kitchen and I can let you have the third installation of the saga!!!!