I cannot believe that you are already seven…I don’t understand where the time has gone. I always knew in my heart that my first child would never be with a man I was married to. I don’t know if I had some weird premonition or if my lifestyle at the time made it more than likely but it was always the way I thought things would work. If I’m honest I hated being pregnant. It didn’t suit me in the slightest. I got sick from about 3 and a half months when I was travelling in Vietnam and the sickness didn’t stop until I was 8 months gone. However, everything changed from the second you were born. When Nana cut the cord and they laid you on my tummy I just knew that you’d always been my girl.
You were the best baby in the entire world. From four weeks old you slept from 10pm until 5am, had a feed and then went back to sleep until 9am and everyone in my Mother & Baby group hated me because of it!!! I wish you were still as good at sleeping now!!! I also had the added bonus of Uncle Nick helping us out. He used to call home every afternoon to see if I needed him to come home and take care of you or to see if he could do anything to help. I don’t think that I ever said yes but the fact that I knew I could made the world of difference to me and my mental state. We also had the great help of Auntie JoJo and Auntie Red when you were little and I’m not sure they realise what a godsend they were.
We were always so busy even in those days. From about 8 weeks old we already had a schedule of music group, swimming lessons, as well as mother and baby group. You’ve been the first from that group to do everything from walking and talking to losing your baby teeth. I used to feel a massive pressure in those days to prove what a good Mum I am and to try and lose the ‘Single Mum’ tag so you were generally in ridiculously expensive clothes that I’ve only just finished paying off. It took me a long time to realise that it didn’t matter how other people categorized us and that all that matters is that you are a happy, (generally) polite child and that you realise how loved you are.
The hardest years for me I think were from 18 months to 3 and a half mainly because you were never still for a second but also because that’s when I felt I was losing myself so I rebelled against being a Mother by spending too much time out getting drunk with my friends and kissing inappropriate boys. I kinda regret now losing that time but looking back I needed to go through that to become the Mum (I hope) I am now.
Since you started school the time has flown by even more quickly. I remember your first day at school and having to leave you there in a class of 20 kids you didn’t know with 2 grown-ups you’d never met before. I only just managed to keep it together to get through the door and then went and had a good cry in the car for 10 minutes before I went back to work!!
Now look at you!! You love school and cannot wait to be there every day. You also love the clubs that you are involved in and are so committed for a 7 year old it just blows my mind. Normally it’s me saying ‘Do you really need to go to Rainbows/Gymnastics etc tonight? Can’t we just get a dvd and chill’ and you are all ‘No I want to go and do the activities’. Which brings me to another thing…..you really need to stop arguing with me kid. When I say stop arguing what I really mean is ‘Shut Up’. Stop your back chat………you will learn in time that I am ALWAYS right (at least until you leave home). Most people discover that about their parents once they are in their late Teens or early Twenties but I’m trying to give you a heads up now and you need to listen to me….contrary to popular opinion I am not interested in the sound of my own voice I am trying to teach you stuff!!!! On the other side of that I’m sorry that I shout so much in the Morning but again if you listened to me the first time, I wouldn’t get so irate by the fifth time of telling you and need to shout. As I’ve explained time and again I still love you very much, I just need to shout to get your attention and to shift your ass!!!!
You are always very helpful…not just to me but to the other kids that you know. If someone has forgotten their coat you give them yours and you go cold, if someone falls over in the playground it’s you that picks them up and takes them to Medical…..I hope that you don’t lose this quality as you grow but learn to balance it with keeping some of yourself back. You adore younger children and I’m sure that being an only child is occasionally lonely but I try hard to make sure it isn’t!!!
Which brings me back again to you being 7. I’m not sure what most 7 year olds want for their birthday but I’m guessing they don’t want Ponies, laptops or tickets to see Kasabian but then I guess most 7 year olds don’t have kick ass taste in music (Miley Cyrus obsession aside ) You won’t know it yet but tickets to Kasabian is exactly what I have bought you. As much as I love you I’m not exactly sure WTF we would do with a Pony so have refrained from buying one.
Have an awesome 7th birthday baby. I hope your Hannah Montana/Rock Star party is an absolute blast and you have the best time in the world. I also hope that you get everything your heart desires (apart from a goddamn pony).
Love you to Jupiter and back. Mummy xxx